This NPR article follows research from a professor who analyzed the language of speed daters and found some patterns in those who followed up on dates with each other, and those who still dated each other three months later: those who felt a connection were those whose language displayed similar use of pronouns and particles (the linguistic “closed” class of vocabulary) as opposed to substance words (about jobs, entertainment, etc). The take-home here is NOT that you should look for a partner who talks like you do; rather, those who can do well together are those whose language-use subtly shifts to accommodate each other. Guess what? Partners need to be able to speak the same language–or, more to the point, in somewhat the same ways.
A concluding study also considered power relations and the use of pronouns; people talk about themselves a lot more (saying “I” this and “me” that) when they are lower on the totem pole; from my own experience this bears up. When speaking upward to a professor, for instance, you are the unknown: you must introduce yourself, something the professor rarely needs to do in such a scenario.
Check out the whole article (read or listen) from NPR here: https://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2014/09/01/344043763/our-use-of-little-words-can-uh-reveal-hidden-interests